If someone asked me to describe my appearance I would probably reply ‘kind of funny looking’. I feel like I have an unusual combination of features, assembled about as well as a fridge magnet sentence, which are slowly slipping down the door. Kind of a unique look but not in a good way.

Yet there is growing evidence that I may have a look which is, in fact, somewhat generic. The reason I say this is down to the number of occasions upon which it has been remarked by others that I “remind them of someone they know”. Now this can be a good thing. This statement tends to get said by people within a few minutes of meeting me for the first time, and can be a bit of an icebreaker. The key though is not to press them on who exactly I remind them of, just in case it’s their gay welsh housemate, or their psychotic school nemesis as this extra bit of insight can make one feel rather self conscious for the rest of the conversation.

It is also remarked upon with regularity that I bear physical resemblance to a wide variety of famous animals, vegetables and minerals, both real and fictional. These have included Harold Lloyd, Diego Forlan (Uruguayan Football player), the Fido Dido Character from the 7up adverts, Edward Norton, the children’s cartoon character Arthur, Tim Roth, two separate Big Brother contestants, Bing Crosby and so on. It’s such a random list that it’s impossible to identify a single physical trait they would share which relates them back to me and when pressed further on the subject people usually just shrug and give little to satisfy my curiosity

So far from being a not-so beautiful snowflake of uniqueness – my physicality clearly a a generic template upon which anything can be thrown. In fact if I remember rightly there was a post drinking game during which my so called friends would come up with people they thought look liked me. The names were plucked with increasing obscurity and randomness (and hilarity on their part I’m sure) until it would generally be concluded that, on some level, everyone looked like me or I looked like everyone (which is most humiliating I suppose).

This chameleon-like trait has even got me into trouble. Attending a house party in a city I’d never been before I was, within five minutes of my arrival, accosted by several rather large rugby playing types who had identified me as ‘Biffo’s brother’. I assumed Biffo to be one of their oversized teammates, but I had to sadly inform them I had no such relative. They refused to believe me, insisting I was this sibling of Biffo’ss as I “looked just like him” and well, that was that. They tried to engage in conversation with me about Biffo’s wellbeing, but I continued to protest. Eventually my denials started to anger them and I was told in no uncertain terms to stop “taking the piss” admit to being this individual or else face physical harm. So I left the party – another night ended prematurely simply for not being some arsehole’s brother.

It’s a phenomenon which continues up until the present day. Even last week a colleague claimed to have spotted someone who she claims was practically my doppelganger strolling the streets outside of where I work. However I would claim the peak of these type of incidents occurred a few years ago. Amongst the rogue’s gallery of people I supposedly look like there is a reasonably famous British comedian. It’s been commented on by several people and even I will agree they have got a point. Then one rainy Sunday afternoon I find myself stood at the pharmacy counter and I realize the guy in front of me is this comedian. Wait, it gets better. The assistant looks up from what she’s doing, apparently recognizes our similarity and says “You guys are together, yes?” to which point Mr. Comedian says no, and – I kid you not – in some wonderful synchronization of the Universe turns to face me and actually does a double take as he too spots our alikeness. I just wish someone I knew had been there to witness this remarkable incident – but alas no and he simply slipped away, not doubt telling tales of how there was a guy in Boots the Chemist who looked just like him.