Last week I was taking luncheon near Vancouver library – a pleasant place to spend an hour but also an area which seems to attract more than it’s share of oddballs, something which might be said for Vancouver as a whole. On this occasion I spotted what seemed to be an normal guy, middle aged, balding, medium build wearing a biker jacket just pacing about the place. However, on closer inspection I noticed he was wearing a set of those comedy glasses, nose and moustache sets – you know like Groucho Marx kind of a thing – which I think is a pretty good way of indicating to those around you that you might be someone who has deviated from the path of what most people like to call normality. Wearing a comedy nose and glasses as part of your general dress and for non-comedy purposes set is a neat visual shorthand for ‘approach with caution’. He brought to mind this awesome Gary Larson cartoon.

The other thing that struck me about this guy was that he secured his amusing eyewear and associated appendage and facial hair with one of the glasses bands you wear for sport. I like that. That’s commitment to lunacy you have to admire – I mean imagine if he’d been in the middle of some serious spazzing out, and suddenly they fly off – he’d like totally lose the vibe man. Or maybe I’m doing him a disservice and he was on the way to play in the Greater Vancouver Freakoid RaquetBall League. Who knows.

He wandered about a bit, passing by a few times, surveying the café tables which were filled in the main by Asian language students. It was clear that he was looking for someone to approach but, even if he couldn’t select appropriate attire, this guy knew it would make sense to say whatever was spilling forth from his addled mind to someone who could at least speak English – e.g. me.

Before he started speaking it did occur to me that the comedy nose and glasses might not be indicating lunacy but perhaps this was some sort of candid camera type operation so I decided my responses would have to be such that the sarcasm levels would make any dialog between unsuitable for broadcast. The conversation went thus:

GlassesGuy: “Have you seen Bob’s bike?”
Me: “I’m sorry but I don’t know to which Bob you are referring so I can’t really identify his bike for you”

GlassesGuy: “What about Outlaws – have you seen any Outlaws?”
Me: (I did, from his initial questioning, assume here he’s referring to a motorcycle gang ) “Nope, sorry can’t help – you are aware we are in the atrium of Vancouver library?”

GlassesGuy: “What about Hells Angels – seen any of them?” (There’s a theme occurring here)
Me: “In my life to date, yes I have. Today – I don’t think so. Whilst having my lunch, definitely not. Again I refer you to my previous comment about this being a library.”

An arsehole aren’t I.

He stumbled away. But again, what I like about this conversation was that straight away, with the comment about Bob’s bike, he let me know exactly what was going on here. Just like the comedy glasses – it’s like no messing, I am a bit crazy, thank you for your time.

Because the thing is some types of lunacy are not so easy to spot. For example you can look relatively normal, be able to hold a conversation, adhere to the codes of society by which we all live – but then for no reason, in 30 plus degree heat, on the hottest lunchtime of the year so far, in ill suited attire and with little food or drink make the decision to do the Grouse Grind (for those not in Vancouver this is a 3km/300m elevation hike climb which everyone who lives here has to do at some point) which is exactly what I decided to do on Saturday, with predictable results.

Mentalist